"I don't make them stand in front of the miniguns." Me, responding to a 199X email asking how I keep my NPCs from being shredded by miniguns. #Shadowrun

“Did I dream myself to death again? Don’t we have a guy for that?” - Electric Warrior [T/M], behind the scenes at his marathon 3 week dreamstream.

“All I remember is I was watching AR porn when I rammed into the biggest cock I’d ever seen.” Cyrus Pessoa [M/D], testifying at his manslaughter trial for rear ending a city bus with a Citymaster, killing 27.

“At any point in your life did you consider moving on from the fat crayons?” Sativola [F/D], rated 5th most influential art critic, reviewing a work by Oihenarte Janosek [M/D]. The value of all of his works dropped by 95% after the comment.

“Did you see him hit the ground and die? No? Cuz, I don’t care how far he fell out of that helicopter, he’s your arch enemy. They simply don’t go out like that.” Matriarch [F/H], Author of “Chromed Memoirs: Yet Another Goddamn Runner Story”.

“Discretion isn’t all that necessary if your enemy isn’t paying any attention.” Silentstar [F/H], from her book “Woah, There: Logical Run Planning”, p. 2071

“Don’t pick at it.” - Simple advice that a recent New England Of Medicine study showed would prevent 15% of post-op cyber and bio infections if followed.

“For every bed of roses, there will be a bed of thorns. Which will you lie on?” - Riku [H/M], Leader Of The “Front 50/50” Policlub, one of the new breed of ‘Economist Policlubs' to crop up in recent years.

“He who laughs last often doesn’t realize how severe his injuries are yet.” Tiffany Gawronski [F/O], former DocWagon employee and host of “The Shadow’s Stupidest Samurai”.

“I am happy to report that the two sides have agreed to cease hostilities at midnight. Until then, and I quote, ‘The game is motherfucking on.’” - Kiley Correra [F/E], arbiter for the Babakku and Konton-Shi gangs, ending (eventually) weeks of bloodshed.

“I did show an astonishingly high aptitude towards surviving falls from very high distances, but they don’t really give bonuses for that.” - Celese [F/H], from her autobio “I Was A Runner Wannabe", p. 2073

“I gave up crime so I could go about stealing shit the legal way.” Alexa Mossadegh (Shadowstalker) [F/H] in her autobio "Lawyers, Corps And Cops: A Former Runner’s Life On The Top Ten Floors", p. 2071

“I looked down, and it was GONE! I wasn’t even sure which orifice I lost it in!” Ezekiel Lodge [M/E], in a graphic vlog post after a drug fueled encounter with a malfunctioning sexbot.

“I still want the record to show that I beat the living shit out of that donkey.” Dill Wart [O/M], In a rambling police statement after a drunken miscommunication at The Screaming Asses’ 'Donkey Punch' night.

“I take everything a woman has, lock her in a room for a week with nothing but a razor blade, and if she’s still alive after seven days: I give it all back.” Unnamed Evo exec, quoted in “Games Trillionaires Play” (p. 2075), by Felipa Sabo [F/H], (d. 2075).

“I won Body Mod Bod of the year, and all I had to do was get hit by a truck.” Azurepyre [F/E], In a post award ceremony interview with ‘Metal Meat' magazine.

“I’m sorry, but we recently refinished the floors. Your commandos will just have to invade on the lawn.” President Lành Phan [M/H] of Nong Khai after an Udon Thani incursion. The micronations have invaded each other over 60 times in the past decade.

“I’ve been in the midst of an implant assisted orgasm since 2062. Just easier to nev..oh…never shut it off.” - Jenny Gleem [F/H], simporn actress.

“If somebody described a trip to the bathroom as ‘life changing’, you think negatively because, regardless if the experience was good or bad, there’s still a bathroom involved.” Bingo [F/T] from her book “The Worst: Surviving The Z Zone”, p. 2069

“If we lock a man in a room, and return to find the man standing next to a pile of shit, we can no longer even prove that it’s his shit.” Attorney Daniel Brown [M/H] from ‘Magic Mayhem: The New Legal Order’, p. 2031

“Laziness Is Fatal” Loose translation of the motto of Fujitimaha Motors, an automotive sweatshop recently shut down on Japan's Yakushima Island. It is one of over a dozen ‘counterfeit car" operations shut down in recent months.

“Never let another person tie your knots. Even your mom has a tiny part of her that thinks you should die.” Seraphic [F/H], Host of ‘Don’t Fuck Up: Survival In The Sprawl', daily senseburst.

“Operation Dog Fart” The code name casually given by the U.K. to their 2063 Falkland raid, not realizing it would go on to be one of the most successful military actions of the decade, destined to be taught in military academies for years.

“Thankfully, I’m too stupid to grasp the concept of embarrassment.” Big Bubba Bartholomew [M/D], after winning the Butt Network’s ‘Public Pooping’ contest, coming from behind and pinching the lead after destroying his opponent in both mass and precision.

“You can tell a lot about a person by how they laugh. I, for instance, laugh like an asshole, which is 100% on the mark.” Razor, Radio Phree Philadelphia, available on FM receivers everywhere.

“You think I’m disappointed; I think I heard God shoot herself.” - Dawnhunter [F/D], deconstructing the new hopefuls on the hit stream ‘Dumped In The Shadows: From Rejects To Runners In 30 Days.’