Orb Of Numerous Headaches

About 10 centimeters in diameter, the Orb Of Numerous Headaches is constructed of a strangely squishy brass/vinyl-like substance and weighs nearly 5 kilograms.  Sunken into the surface is a small crystal lens capable of emitting a laser pointer beam that creates a set of crosshairs in the direction in which it is pointing.  The orb prefers to venture from place to place by rolling, only achieving a hovering flight when it attacks.

Preferring to hang out in junk filled alleys, the Orb will attack the first person who passes it and uses the word "bang" in a sentence.  After hearing the words, the orb will rise from hiding and begin whamming into its victim's head at fairly slow rate, doing no visible damage but causing the target to develop an increasingly severe headache with each hit.  Also, with each impact, the Orb will emit a loud metallic vibration that sounds like "bong", "bap" or "bam".

Able to out maneuver all weapons fire or physical attacks, and impervious to magic, the orb will not stop hitting its target until he or she takes 2 tablets of FDA approved aspirin.  After the aspirin is ingested, the Orb will fall from air and turn into a rather tasty jelly donut.  (If anybody happens to eat the donut, a new orb will appear the next time they use the toilet via....well....I think you get the picture.)

Brass Knuckles Of Love

Consisting of a pair of Vietnam era brass knuckles, the Brass Knuckles Of Love tend to appear primarily in weapons stores, but they are also known to make themselves present in your finer S&M boutiques.  When an individual first tries on the Knuckles, the weapons will produce a warm, fuzzy feeling of such intensity that the individual must roll a Willpower test of Threshold/8 in order to refrain from buying them.  Should a purchase become necessary, the buyer will also have to roll a Willpower test of Threshold/6 any time they wish to take the Brass Knuckles Of Love off their hands.  Actually ditching the knuckles after they are purchased requires a Willpower test of Threshold/21.

When used to clock an enemy, the Brass Knuckles Of Love will emit a large "smooch" sound, and produce a bruise resembling the lipstick leftovers from a kiss.  The enemy will appear dumbstruck for three seconds, after which they will passionately (and loudly) declare their love for the attacker.  They will try to follow their attacker everywhere, all the while declaring their devotion, desires, and their craving for marriage and a stable, monogamous relationship.  They will keep this up until they are either killed, or receive a big, fat kiss from their attacker.  After returning to normal, they will continue their fight from where it left off when they were first hit with the knuckles.

Should the individual cursed with the Knuckles wish to ditch them, the only way to avoid the Willpower test of Threshold/21 is to beat themselves into unconsciousness with the Knuckles.  After a successful Willpower test, or a successful self beating, the Knuckles will drop from their hands and turn into a puddle of sickly looking green liquid that would actually taste pretty good if anybody was weird enough to try to drink it.

Warning: Individuals cursed with the Brass Knuckles Of Love should NOT try to use them to win the love of somebody they actually care about.  The target will immediately be teleported to a remote section of Guam, where they will be lectured about the wonders of timeshare condos by a small balding man named Ted.