Posted: 1997-11-17

Mr. Grundle Mayham tries his absolute best to present us with the question: “Why the hell did I just spend 15 nuyen on this album?” At least that’s the question that crossed my mind as I was tortured by no less than 125 tracks of nothing but what sounds like somebody sticking their finger up their nose. Not that this reflects the entire content of the album: There were another 25 tracks of nothing but what sounded like an Ork slapping his pot-belly. 

If you’re in the mood to listen to something vaguely resembling absolutely nothing, then this album’s for you. All instruments are played using cotton balls as picks, which means you can hardly hear a damn thing, so you jack up the volume of your stereo, hoping that there’s something - anything - you can listen to when, suddenly, their troll drummer hits some pseudo-bass drum and blows out your speakers. The record store should give YOU money for buying this album. 

This group goes through great lengths in their attempt to prove that vowels are completely unnecessary and only serve to slow down the English language. The result is numerous of lyrics that sound like they’ve been read by strobe light, and music that is restricted to the five, non-vowel keys. Except of course, for the keys H and J, which the band claims to have made up, even though they sound exactly like A and E, although the band will dismiss this as a coincidence. 

In this album we are presented with the question “Why Me?” by a bunch of pedestrians, all of whom claim to have been caught in the crossfire of Shadowrunner combat at some point in their lives. The wailing, sorrowful, gritty, and extremely irritating angst flowing from your speakers should serve as a reminder that sometimes it’s best to finish off the casualties.