Da world is full uv pricks. But youse probably already know that. I
mets da bigest prick of dem all da other night, probably da stupidest one
too. Hez a street sammy which is basiclly what I iz but I tell ya, sammyz
like him give us all da downer image. He be standin der outside da bar,
actin’ all human and happen, not even coverin’ hiz skin against da red
rain cuz he though he wuz cool. I wuz just walkin in to get a beer or ten
and da bum starts gettin into my face. He sez, “You think you ken beat
me, you sloppy, bumpy, ugly, trog!”. To tell ya da truth, beatin him was
da furthest thing from my mind till he started messin with me. I think
I wuz ponderin’ those little fuzzy dice people hang frum der rear view
mirrors. I wuz thinkin’ of gettin’ me a pair.
Anyways, hez all in my face, messin up my dice ponderin’, and poppin
out blades and pullin gunz and stuff till he had a pair of smugs (dats
SMGs to you lay people) and pointiy sharp things and eye lazers and all
kinds of cyber toys and shit. Oops, I swore. In any case, he’z standin
threre yellin “Bring it on!” and I, just for a mini second, thought about
researchin’ just how many of those toyz he gots I could cram up hiz behind.
But den I started thinkin, why give him what he wantz? So, I give him a
big Brumby smile, and jander into da bar leavin him there with his gunz
and pointy things and stuff standin in da red rain trying to act cool.
I orders a few beerz and start thinkin that maybe just leaving him der
aint so good a idea, either. So Brumby, being da big thinkin type guy I
am, started ponderin how much hiz skin must be hurtin from da rain.
It wuz a tequila shooter that gave me the idea for da salt. I think
he’z da only sammy who ever got his butt whipped by a seasoning. |