To Whom It Won't Concern
By Blackjack [Blackjack's Shadowrun Page:] [] [@BlackjackSRx]

Posted: 1997-03-10

Dear Masani Simsense Corporation,

My name is Jim LeVey and I'm writing in regards to your new Mr. Happy Box children’s non-direct interface simsense player. My wife and I purchased this product with the understanding that the neural effects on my child would be minimal and was much surprised when, after utilizing your product to experience the included Bobby Bunny Goes To The Carnival simchip, my son made numerous attempts to decapitate the family cat. Now normally he engages in such activities an infrequent two or three times a year but, again, after viewing your chip it pretty much became a full time occupation. I strongly suggest you look into the stability of your new interface system and my lawyers will be contacting your shortly.

Jim LeVey

Dear Jim LeVey,

We here at the Masani Simsense Corporation are terribly, awfully sorry for the troubles our new system has caused. For the last week and a half we've been simply sick with worry and loss of sleep to the point that many of our executives double faulted during their racquetball games. So, in an effort to quell both your pain and ours, we will shortly be sending a small box to your dwelling containing a new player, a variety of simchips, and a special surprise that will be so spectacular you'll never even remembered that this unfortunate event ever occurred. Enjoy.

Masani Simsense Corporation

Dear Detronic Weapons,

I go by the street name of Cougar, although I was considering changing it to Pissed after attempting to utilize your new Super Kill-2000 SMG. I was being chased by a group of go gangers and decided to take a few shots at them with my new gun at which time the barrel burst into flames, further igniteing my clothing, my car, and Mr. Evan Sudpuger, a corporate official I had recently kidnapped. I expect full compensation for financial damage sustained because of your weapon.


Dear Cougar,

We apologize for the malfunction of our weapon and are currently shipping you several replacements along with 40,000 nuyen worth of high quality concrete via helicopter. It should be arriving through your dwelling any day now.

Detronic Weapons

Dear Renraku Corporation,

During a recent tour of your Seattle based archology one of your guards misinterpreted my statement “I got a run” as saying “I got a gun” at which point to grabbed be and dragged me into an interrogation room where they subjected me to heinous torture in an attempt to retrieve information I didn’t even have and, besides, every time I tried to answer they’d jab me with a 40,000 volt cattle prod and cut off another one of my fingers and then pour boiling water over my face. Is this how you treat your guests? I just wanted to let you know that I am terribly upset and that you will be hearing from my lawyer very soon.

Alice Menassas

Dear Alice Menassas,


Renraku Corporation