Stupid Runner Tricks
By Blackjack [Blackjack's Shadowrun Page:] [] [@BlackjackSRx]

Posted: 1999-08-23

The following are excerpts from the Stupid Runner Tricks electronic newsletter, a weekly publication featured on Shadowland that highlights the not so glorious deaths and injuries of members of the runner community.

Human Street Samurai

Dangling from an I-beam high above the floor of a warehouse, Dando was preparing to toss a grenade onto a group of gang members he had been hired to eliminate.  He pulled the pin with his teeth and quickly noticed that the grenade refused to leave his hand.  It had apparently slipped his mind that the device allowing him to hang from the beam was his Magnetic Cyberlimb System.

Troll Gang Member

After stealing 5 cans of Ultra Fizzi Pop from a Stuffer Shack by concealing them in a sealed cyber leg compartment, Tumble bolted through the door and past the store's security guards.  He ran furiously for nearly two blocks when one of the Fizzi Pop cans, now under intense pressure from the run, exploded, starting a chain reaction that obliterating the leg.

Digital Don
Elf Decker

A skilled cyberdeck technician, Digital Don had perfected a high speed universal port that could be utilized for applications ranging from simple headphones to high power electricity transfers.  After lobbying with Ares for months, Digital Don was finally allowed to demonstrate his discovery to a team of corporate developers.  Either out of nervousness or closet stupidity, Don jacked into his deck's auxiliary power output, resulting in a permanent reduction in his mental capabilities and a rather interesting light show.

Human Rigger

After mounting an elaborate hood ornament on his Westwind 2000, Speedo headed towards downtown to show it off.  Upon entering the highway he activated the autopilot, whose dashboard mounted forward sensors immediately detected an obstacle at point blank range.  The vehicle cut hard right, colliding with a tractor trailer.